Tag Archives: opposite sex

When will he call you?

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Ladies, we wait and wait for that phone call, don’t we? Of course, we don’t want men to know that, but men, we are.

The Setting: We either just got home from a spectacular first date, or we have just been dumped by our boyfriend of two years. We are waiting for the voice on the other end of the call to either tell us– “Wow! You’re amazing. I would love to see you again.” Or “I miss you. I was an idiot to ever think I could do better than you.”

But what our irrational-love-infused mind cannot comprehend is that a watched pot never boils (and trust me, I make a lot of pasta!) And it’s the reasoning behind why we do wait. It’s why when we type into Google, “When will he…” call is the third guess Google has for us (propose is first, followed by ask me out). It’s why we go to the bookstore to find the self-help books. It’s why we watch all six seasons of Sex and the City after a breakup. But the answer isn’t in the aforementioned places. It’s right here, on my blog.

So, when will he call you?

Never.

Ouch! Harsh? Perhaps. Truthful? For sure. If it has been over a month and no word from that person, start looking elsewhere. But don’t drown in your sea of sorrow, reader. You’re awesome! Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t see that.

When you’re with a new love and/or have moved on to bigger and better.

Exes always seem to come back at the wrong time (for them). It’s usually the right time for you. You know, when you’ve moved across the country, got more attractive, and have dated at least three men since him. Humor him though! It’s a wonderful ego stroke.

When your phone dies or is turned off.

Going off the grid on purpose is a freeing experience. I visited Vancouver, British Columbia about a month ago, and turned my phone off (namely because I was roaming…) And for those two days, I didn’t care about the possibility of someone not being able to reach me. But have you ever had your phone die unexpectedly when you’re not within distance to a charger? Oh, god! What a terrible feeling. When I got back into the States after my short adventure, someone called me and left a voice-mail.

The moral of the story: leave the country for a few days. He’ll call. Sans passport? Turn phone off.

When you change your phone number.

You decide to do a reckless thing after your breakup. You’re in Stage 3 of I have a Broken Heart, now what?: ANGER. You think, “Oh yeah? He doesn’t want me in his life anymore?! FINE! I’m going to go change my number. Now he will never be able to contact me.” And you do go change it. He inevitably will call because that’s how Life works. And remorse starts to set in. But really, why would you want to get back together with someone who pretty much deemed you unlovable?

If anything, you still have facebook to get in contact with one another.

Calm down, it has only been four hours.

You’re too eager. Let him miss you a bit, yeah? Good.

Not on Valentine’s Day.

He won’t even know it is Valentine’s Day. February 14 is just another day in the year. (As it should be…)

He won’t. He’ll text you.

Along with the rest of my generation, I loathe talking on the phone. We prefer text. I break out in sweat at the thought of having to call someone to set up a hair appointment. What do you mean I can’t do this online?!

So when you hear your phone ringing for some odd reason, don’t get your hopes up! It’s just an automated voice trying to sell you an alarm system.

When he wants to.

Yep. If he genuinely is interested in you, reader, he will call you. It’s hard to wrap one’s head around that but he will. Why? Because you’re awesome and he knows it.

Or you could discard all of these answers and call text him yourself.

*Jamie snapped this shot in Portland, OR.

In Perspective: Unrequited Love

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I once liked a boy, who didn’t like me.
A boy even liked me once, but I didn’t like him.

Unrequited love–My marital status throughout most of middle and high school. (Later on in life, I got a bit more lucky.)

Life is rough when you’re a boyfriendless, fourteen-year-old girl suffering from a crazy little thing called unrequited love. (Oh wait, those aren’t the lyrics.) But come on, everyone would have to agree that unrequited love sucks at any age! It fits oh, so, snugly under the category The Worst Feeling in the Whole Entire World. Some other things would include: waking up five minutes before you have to be at work while rushing out the door (sans shower and coffee), experiencing food poisoning on vacation, and having dreams nightmares where one is pregnant (But, man, what a relief waking up!).

Like most teenage girls, my life was defined by the opposite sex. (We can thank Disney for that one.) Did I have a boyfriend? Did anyone like me? Did I even like anyone? I remembering “liking” multiple boys just to increase my chances of getting a boyfriend. It didn’t work, of course. I also remember “liking” boys just to make my life more interesting because what woman doesn’t love to over-analyze when a man says “fine” and “sure.” Does he, like, really mean that? Something is totally wrong.

While most of my friends were out catching boyfriends, I was sulking in my room wondering, “Why not me?” My online and handwritten journals were filled with the unrequited-love blues. After all, it can be quite detrimental to a person’s ego, especially a shy, insecure girl going through puberty. Imagine that you have finally found the courage (it was hiding behind procrastination and motivation, by the way) to go up to that someone, who you’ve only watched from afar, and proclaim your feelings to only receive absolutely nothing in return.

But then again, should we be surprised by the outcome? We aren’t in the movies. Our crushes wouldn’t just confess that they, too, have been watching us from afar all along. This could be the cause of unrequited love! The cause being we are lusting after people who are simply out of our league. When we are younger, our parents tell us we can be anything we want to be when we grow up. In our simple minds we figured we could have anyone we wanted as well, regardless of how attractive they were. We are setting ourselves up to be unloved in return.

Alas, I must touch on both sides of the spectrum. (As I have been found on both sides before.) Surely we have all had our fair share of people who we weren’t interested in, but who clearly were interested in us.

I had a really good friend during my freshman year of high school. The said friend was a boy and he liked me, a lot. (He actually confessed his love for me.) Although flattered, I had no interest in him. I told him that he was my good friend and that’s all I could ever see him as. Ouch, Jamie! On the other hand, I knew exactly how he felt because at the same time I was pining for the popular tall, dark, and handsome boy in the junior class, who had no idea of my existence. Oh, high school.

Fortunately by the time I entered my senior year of high school, I had finally experienced requited love. (I could finally relate to those damn love songs!) So, what’s the secret? Time. I was no longer that awkward 14-year-old girl going through puberty. I’ve continued to grow as a person since then. I got smarter, hotter, and funnier all the while attracting better quality men each and every time. Soon enough, you’re bound to meet the perfect person for you. So don’t worry, pubescent person reading my blog, you’ll get rid of the unrequited-love bug soon enough. Just give it time.

Or maybe lower your standards?

*Getty Images

The underrated (and overrated) places to meet that someone.

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Let’s face it, life isn’t about making the most money. It’s not about having the most friends, either. It’s about finding one person who will love you enough to put up with your shit (and if you’re lucky, someone who is attractive, funny, and intelligent). But the problem is that it’s a difficult and even daunting task to find someone who is not only attractive, funny, and intelligent but who will also find your flaws endearing.

When we are lazy frustrated with love and relationships we don’t bother going to search for someone. We stay single, and write empowering facebook statuses that include: “I don’t need a man. I can pay my own bills.” (37 likes from other single ladies ensue.)

But when we do find the motivation to go and search for that someone we don’t know where to even begin. Well, readers, don’t fear! This is where I come in.

I’ve come up with some underrated (and overrated) places to meet that someone. People everywhere are looking in all the wrong places. They’re relying too heavily on Yahoo! Answers and self-help books which are just leading them to meet some lame people, who will eventually break up with them.

The underrated places.

  • In traffic.
    • While living in Florida, my daily commute coming home from work was 45 minutes. That is 225 minutes. That is three hours and 45 minutes spent driving. That is the equivalent of watching a movie and two episodes of Dexter. That is the equivalent of getting a haircut and pedicure. (I have long, thick hair. Ahem.) What I am trying to say is that we waste a lot of time in traffic. After all, time is precious. This time spent in a car could essentially be time spent trying to meet that someone. Ah ha! Well, why not put the two together? There have been plenty of times when I was sitting in traffic and singing my heart out to Bob Seger’s Night Moves when I would look to my left to see a quite nice-looking man smirking at me. Horrified, I had no where to run and hide. I couldn’t simply push the accelerator and go, I had to simply stay put. Now if I were confident I would have rolled my window down and asked for his number, but I’m not so he got away. Next time you’re sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, take a peek at the drivers around you. He or she could just be that someone.
  • On public transit.
    • For the people fortunate enough who don’t have to sit in traffic, public transit is the next best option. Again, we spend a lot of time (and money) commuting to work. The next time you get on to the subway, why not find the one seat directly across from that Keanu Reeves look-alike? You meet some interesting people on public transit. I once received a flower from a man who told me I had beautiful teeth on the MAX in Portland. Granted, he was drinking Rolling Rock from a can at 10:30 in the morning but perhaps if I wasn’t so judgmental (Come on, beer in a can?!?!), he could have been that someone.
  • Through a blog. (Preferably your own.)
    • Online dating is becoming more socially acceptable. Slowly, but surely. I’ve already confessed to my readers that I’ve met men on the internet. It’s simply easier for me. But at the same time, online dating is tricky. The key to meeting that someone isn’t to sign up for Match.com or any of those dating sites. Wait, what? When doing it that way, you’re intentionally putting yourself out there making it really difficult. (It’s the equivalent of hoping you meet someone at a bar. See below.) When you’re writing hilarious, witty posts on your very own blog (ahem), it sometimes attracts people. It even attracts that someone. (Trust me. I know.) Not only will you acquire your biggest blog fan, you will have landed yourself a man. Not a writer? Well, you better become one quickly or have some hope that my other underrated places work out for you.
  • In a bookstore.
    • The reason being (and really the only)? It’s the perfect setting. If my life were a movie, and I was about to meet that someone (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, naturally) it better take place in a bookstore. There I’d be: moseying through the aisles, when suddenly I’d see him with his nose buried in a book, he’d look up to see my gaping face, we’d briefly make eye-contact before I’d coyly look away. As you can see, I have some pretty lame fantasies. But, reader, seriously go to a bookstore, there’s bound to be an intellectual,  charming, and attractive person in there for you.
  • Going anywhere in public without showering.
    • It’s true. You’re bound to meet that someone when you’re least expecting it. Enough said.

The overrated places.

  • In a bar or club.
    • This is the most overrated place people believe they could potentially meet that someone. Who even came up with this idea? Has this person even been to a bar? Don’t they know it’s loud? One cannot make any type of conversation in a dark room that has DJ Quivering Machine blasting the latest tracks. Yes, when alcohol is involved confidence usually comes out but the next morning so does regret. Meeting at a bar is so overrated that people are flocking to bars with high hopes of finding Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. Surely if everyone is going to the same place, I can only imagine the difficulty of trying to get his or her attention when everyone is fighting for one thing: that someone. Good luck with that.
  • Through a friend of a friend.. of a friend.
    • ZzzZzzzZ.
  • Work
    • I’m bias toward anyone meeting at the workplace. Mostly because I’m annoyed that my ex-boyfriends dumped me for their now girlfriends or wives through work. Besides, if you do meet someone at work and god forbid the two of you break-up, how awkward. Poor Jennifer Carpenter and Michael C. Hall must know! Their characters play siblings on Dexter, get married in real-life, later divorce, and now *spoiler alert* Deb (Carpenter) is having… feelings for her brother? Cruel writers, I tell you!
  • School
    • High-school sweethearts? Pfffft! How unoriginal of you two. I like to think that they got stuck in a comfortable routine and can’t get out. They figured, “Hey, let’s just stay together.” I get it, though. It’s rough out there! (Why else would I be writing this post?) I mean why bother breaking up if you already met the person who will put up with your shit? The two just met earlier than most of us will meet our someone. (It’s still overrated…)
  • On a dating reality television show.
    • The next time you’re watching The Bachelor and Chris Harrison asks, “Do you know of someone who is looking for true love? Apply or nominate someone now by going to ABC.com” Do not raise your hand, and scream at the television, “I do! I do!” Yes, you will get whisked away in a helicopter every now and then. Yes, you will go on fabulous dates in exotic locations. But no, you won’t find true love. Look I’m not being harsh. I am forewarning anyone contemplating going on a dating show. I’ve see too many women crying at the camera because Ben, a man they’ve known for two weeks, didn’t give them a rose. If only they read this post. If only.

I hope this helps any of my desperate single readers looking for love.

*Getty Images.

The 10ish types of couples I hate*.

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I’m a singleish woman in my early twenties. Inevitably, couples sort of annoy me. And not because I’m bitter either. But because when people are in love they do irksome things, which can be oblivious to the twosome, but something singletons are completely aware of. Don’t get me wrong–I get it as it’s truly a wonderful feeling.

Nonetheless, in no particular order I present to you–the different types of couples in which I hate*. I simply had to visit facebook for 17 minutes to come up with the following tenish. (However, it took threeish weeks to write.) So, yes, you and your significant other may or may not have been a bit of inspiration to my post.

[*Writer's note: Hate may be a bit strong of a word.]

1. The couple who share a facebook page.
Firstly, why? I understand that you are together, but we must remember Relationship Rule #3: Do not lose your identity. How do I mean? Well, you are your own individual person. I am sure there has been a point in everyone’s (or just mine) relationship where someone loses their identity. If you share a facebook account with your partner, you are no longer you. You do remember who that is, right? YOU! That extremely awesome person you were before he or she came around. You had hobbies (not his). You had friends (not his). And you even had aspirations (not putting yours aside for him.. ahem). Perhaps it’s about convenience? Naaaaaah. Perhaps they think it’s a cute way of being The Perfect Couple? (Like, the statuses would no longer be written in first person, rather first person plural. Awww.)  Naaaaaah. The cynic in me believe it’s about insecurity. The two simply need to keep tabs on one another. Wahn, wahn, waaaaahn.

2. The couple who have the same default facebook picture. (Assuming I’m friends with both members of the party.)
Why, oh, why can’t you each have a different default photo? I’m not saying you should not have a picture with the two of you together. That is completely fine. The thing that is not completely fine is having the same exact photo. The reason it annoys me? It makes it harder for me to determine who is who without having to look at the name above. Selfish of me? Probably. (I’m singleish after all.)

2.5 The couple (more than likely girlfriend) whose default album is filled with 49 different pictures of the two of them kissing. Whether it’s in a car, at the beach, or in bed. She thought at that very moment their lips touched, a camera needed to be involved. Inevitably, she would post it to the world to see making it photo number 50 in her album. Imagine how heartbreaking it will be once the two break up! She will have to delete them all and take a photo of just… herself. Sniff.

3. The couple who always break up, but then seem to get back together again.
Make up your minds! You know you’re not right for one another, so listen to my solution–stop trying and move on.

4. The couple that you can’t believe they’re still together.
I was fairly certain I gave the two of you sixth months, at the max. But each time I go lurk on visit your facebook page, I feel this pang in my heart that clearly means, “Still? The two of you caused a year of unhappiness for me. Why hasn’t karma come to bite you in the ass yet?” I then quickly remember my life is going exceptionally well without you in it.

5. The couple who stay together because of a baby.
For some reason, people think a baby will make a relationship stronger. At least the type of relationship where the two clearly don’t belong with one another. (See below.) I learned in my college education that if a couple gets married because of a baby, the more likelihood of divorce. Just sayin’

6. The couple who aren’t right for one another.
 No blurb necessary.

7. The couple who are just too damn happy.
Stop it! Right now! A person can spot this couple quite easily. The two of them enjoy writing statuses about one another: bragging how great he is, boasting how beautiful she is. I’m on to the two of them. It makes me suspicious because no two people can be that happy with each other. As someone who is very near and dear to me would say: Where is the grit?! I concur.

8. The high school couple.
They’re the dramatic duo. The couple who believe their romance is a modern-day Romeo and Juliet. Or perhaps Bella and Edward would be more suitable. They are a mix of couple 2, 2.5, 3, 4, 6 and 9. As I used to say, high school and romance don’t belong together. Just like this couple.

9. The overtly PDA couple
Perhaps I’m just a bit of a prude. But when seeing a couple passionately making out at a bar, I can’t help but stare. Come on! We don’t need to see that. There are other acceptable public displays of affection a couple could do: holding hands, playing footsie, or grabbing his or her butt. Stick with any of the three, please.

9.5 The same-side-seater couple
Dammit. I used to be apart of this couple! The couple who insists on sitting next to their partner while dining out. Years ago I read in a women’s magazine that it’s often more romantic to sit next to someone while eating. And I did that. On our fourth date, I asked if I could sit next to him and he obliged. Since that moment, we would sit next to one another for the next year or so while dining out. I was able to squeeze his hand, touch his leg, and easily steal a fry or two. When we would eventually break up, I started working in a restaurant as a hostess and I developed an abhorrence for certain types of people. One of them being couples who would come in on a busy Saturday night when the wait would exceed an hour, and refuse to sit in a booth suited for only two because they needed to sit next to one another. On a more recent date, I asked him would he mind if I sat next to him in which he replied, “No, you don’t like those types of people.” Touché. It was easier to play footsie across from him, anyway.

10. The couple who are waiting until marriage.
I just don’t get it. Being romantically physical with a person is an important part of a relationship. Just like communication, trust, and good looks. Don’t get me wrong–sex DOES complicate things. But how often would one buy a car without testing it out?  Why not test how their significant other runs… in bed? Because of one silly thing: religion. Because the Bible “tells them so.” Doh! I don’t know the statistics of how long marriages last when saving themselves. Maybe it’s higher than most.

Eh, probably not.

True Life: I’ve met men on the internet.

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Does this come as a shock to anyone reading this? Not because it is me. (We will get to that in a little bit.) But because it’s the 21st century and we do literally everything online: pay bills, buy Britney Spears’ chewed gum (sold for $263 on eBay, by the way), and video chat family members miles away. In other words, my generation would be lost without internet.

Yet, when it comes to admitting that I’ve met men on the internet, it comes off as one thing to people: desperate. As if, judgmental people.

I’m writing this to prove you jerks wrong.

First off, it should be that noted that I’ve never, never, NEVER signed up for a dating site to intentionally go looking for men. After all, that’s what free sites, like Myspace, were created for. [Note: Do you remember when Myspace was cool? It was eons ago, but it was really spectacular at one point. I would normally pick a song to depict my love life. I would put a picture of  Seth Cohen under "Who I'd like to meet" and I made sure that my best friend was my number one friend, unless I had a boyfriend at the time.]

I’ve met less than a handful of men, online, in which two of them became boyfriends. (In fact the only two I’ve ever had.) Thus, I like to say it has been quite positive. But now many will wonder why I could ever give relationship advice. I think it’s because I am a really great writer.

The one time I dated someone without A/S/L being the first letters exchanged was to a neighbor. While yes, convenient at times, once things fizzled I was afraid to leave my apartment. Inevitably I just moved out.

Some may (or may not) ask why would I, a seemingly normal girl, rely on the web to meet people. It’s simple, really.

First, it’s just easier for me. (Or maybe I’m just lazy.) I can get to know a man from a comfortable distance: in my pajamas with disheveled hair, all the while eating a juicy cheeseburger that is dripping down my chin. In other words, I am being myself without Insecurity knocking. (He’s almost as bad as that Procrastination guy, I tell ya!)  Secondly, I’m a writer and can tell a lot about judge a man (or person) by the way he (or she) writes. Some believe a woman having two cats is a deal breaker, but if a man doesn’t know when to use the correct your, their, its, or to I know we won’t last. It’s a fact of life.

I know some of you are still not convinced. Damn you. Most of you are wondering why not go out in the real word and meet a man. First off: if you’re not in school, it’s harder than you think. If you’re a new resident to a city and know absolutely no one, it’s hard enough to make friends. Many of you will likely suggest at a bar. I retort: why is it any better for two people to meet at a bar than the web? Why is not just as desperate to go to a bar and wait and wait and …wait for an intoxicated man to never come up to me? Are you thinking: “Uhh, like, you know, because, like, you’re not hiding behind a computer. Duh! He could be, like, a total creeeeeeper! Haven’t you ever watched To Catch a Predator on Dateline?! You don’t know who you would eventually meet. (Um, hello, that’s what Skype is for!)

It’s true that I won’t know who I will eventually meet face-to-face. Will it really be the scruffy-faced, dark haired, charming man I’ve been exchanging witty banters with for the past few weeks or will he have a receding hair line and approaching 39… quickly? Well, what about those Valentine’s Day hearts filled with chocolate? We don’t know what’s going to be in the inside of those chocolates, now do we? Will it be raspberry cream? Yum. Or will it be coconut? Meh. Does it stop us from taking a bite into it? Absolutely not. We are a curious bunch.

The moral of the story is that a person could be lying about themselves regardless of where the fairy tale setting takes place when you meet Commoner Charming. While yes it’s less likely for a person who we don’t meet online to lie about their physical appearance but they sure can emphasize. For instance, I am fooling everyone into thinking I see really well, but I desperately need eye contacts. I also color my hair. But I don’t like to think that I am lying. I’m simply emphasizing these qualities. This is exactly what people do on the internet. We are highlighting our best features: infectious laugh, easily amused, and has two awesome cats. We don’t introduce ourselves while also sharing the fact that we haven’t shaved in over a month. Namely because that would be a deal-breaker and we would be forever alone.

But this is dating! Whether it’s online, blind, or speed dating. We are all trying to do one thing: meet that someone special by impressing one another. It normally takes me hours to get ready for a date. (Mentally and physically). I switch outfits 84 times and finally settle on the one I started with. On a day-to-day basis, I get up, wash my face, throw on the same jeans I have been wearing all week, brush my teeth, make my hair elegantly disheveled, and I run out the door.

After all the dating and courting shenanigans is when we can finally introduce our true self. Slowly, but surely we can start to reveal those bad habits no one knows about. And if the other person accepts our flaws, our grit, or the fact that we haven’t shaved in over a month, then great. At least then we know it’s real.

[Side note: My ultimate dork fantasy would be to meet the man of my dreams in a bookstore, in Portland, at Powell's.]

True Life: I’m in love with fictional characters

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Fic·ti·tious:
–adjective

  1. Of, pertaining to, or consisting of fiction; imaginatively produced or set forth; created by the imagination.

Over the years, I’ve run into quite a few fictional characters that have made me swoon. Thankfully, it’s not Jacob from Twilight because really, I’ve had my share of seventeen-year-old boy crushes, and I don’t need to add another to the list.

But it does get me wondering, what is the fascination of imaginary men? Whether they’re vampires or serial killers, every woman out there has at least one fictitious boyfriend.  Don’t lie.

I’ve decided to make a few points, in no specific order, of what the benefits are when having a fictitious boyfriend.

I am never let down by being stood up.
My very first fictitious boyfriend was Seth Cohen (see insert left). He was the most dependable high school guy I could ever rely on. Our set day was every Thursday night for one hour, and he would always arrive right on time. Granted, he went away for months at a time, but he would return for the next three years after our initial meeting. I would eventually come to find out that Seth was foreshadowing future non-fictitious boyfriend characteristics: tall, lanky, and nerdy. Sorry beefy man wearing tight, sparkly t-shirt, you’re not impressive.

I want someone smart, witty, and charming. Seth was the epitome of that.

We would never get sick of one another.
I like long distance relationships (to an extent) for this very reason. Every meeting would be like seeing one another for the very first time all over again. I felt special. I felt warm and fuzzy inside.

In this type of relationship, the two people wouldn’t take each other for granted, hopefully. On the one hand, I’m a strong believer in absence makes the heart grow fonder. However, this only works if the two people actually want to be together. Whereas on the other hand, I’m a strong believer in out of sight, out of mind. With each of my break-ups, I had this silly notion of:

Oh absence will make his heart grow fonder! He’s going to miss seeing me!

But really? This person broke up with me; his heart isn’t going to grow fond for me. It’s going to do the exact opposite, and never think of me again until I end up drunk texting him. But that’s another story.

They cannot hurt you.
Although it’s a false sense of trust, you can fall in love without the negative consequences that go along with it: warm fuzzy feelings inside your stomach every time you see one another, the moment you realize the warm fuzzy feelings are completely out of your control, and a possible other women entering the picture.

When I met Dexter Morgan (see above man with blood), he was in a relationship with a lovely woman named Rita. Eventually they decided to marry one another (silly kids) and had a lovely baby, Harrison. I have no ills against Rita. I can’t.

Fictional characters won’t stand you up, nor will they stomp on your heart. Although Don Draper (see insert above) is a tall, dark, and handsome womanizer, he hasn’t hurt me, nor will he ever. It’s great, really.

Fantasies are always more fun than reality, and that’s what has people drawn to fictitious characters. Being in love with a serial killer? That isn’t the ideal career that I look for in the opposite sex, but he’s so damn smart. After all, he works for the Miami Metro Police, kills bad people, and never gets caught. He better be smart. Nor do I look for a philanderer from the 1960s. I just keep telling myself it’s the suit.

Yes, the suit.

Other notable fictitious boyfriends I’ve had–some more briefly than others:

  • Tom Hansen–see video below, please. (Joseph Gordon-Levitt)
  • Catcher Block (Ewan McGregor)
  • Daniel Desario (James Franco)
  • Noah Calhoun (Ryan Gosling)
  • Mr. Big (Chris Noth)