Being single on Valentine’s Day does not terrify me. It does not depress me. I do not eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, producing moisture on my cheeks, as I watch Lifetime movies. I don’t, as that is terribly cliche. Rather, I stop at Dunkin Donuts to indulge in a large hot coffee (two Splenda) and a Reverse Boston Kreme doughnut (see below) before work.
In fact, I’ve been single more times than I’ve actually been with someone on February 14. And to be honest, I’m not missing much. What? Chocolate in a heart-shaped box? An impersonal card that some
man female copywriter wrote? Flowers?
I will admit, however, I love dining out with a man, so this is inevitably missed. But really, I could do this any other day of the week when a reservation is not needed. (Okay so a man would be needed as well.) I also would probably miss a night of getting horizontal with someone, too.
I do not sulk at the thought of couples being wined and dined in the booth just for two. I work at a restaurant, I see this on an every day basis. Just two days ago, a marriage proposal was set up at the restaurant. Really? Valentine’s Day weekend? How unoriginal of you, man. I also do not become bitter as I deliver flowers to the higher-ups at the newspaper.
Because I don’t fall for the fauxliday that’s created by Hallmark. Some will say that I am just bitter because I’m single. That’s not true because if I wanted someone to take me out tonight, I’m sure someone would oblige to humor me.
So, how did Hallmark come into the picture anyway? Oh, I know.
Think like a corporation for a second. A corporation trying to survive in a capitalist society on steroids. To be considered successful in the world, one must make a shit load of money.
Corporations decided to prey upon the naive consumer, in particular, the in-love consumers. All the while making the single consumer feel bad about themselves for not being good enough, not lovable enough for someone. Maybe I should have bought the anti-aging cream.
“Gee, we need some money. We have all these damn cards and people are only buying them for bat/bar mitzvahs, birthdays, and circumcisions. That’s not making us enough to feed our greedy souls! How about we create some crap holiday where couples show how much they think they love one another. How about a card that reads ‘I love you’?”
“You think people would actually buy that?”
It’s estimated that over $15 million will be spent during the fauxliday this year. Whether it’s cards, chocolate, flowers, or dinner. After all, they’re in the business of money, not love. Like every holiday, it, too, has become terribly commercialized. Christmas is about camping outside a retail store nine days before Black Friday to get the best deal on a big-screen television.Retail stores will even take advantage of Earth Day to have an excuse for a sale, to have an excuse to get a customer in their store. I hate consumerism.
l’m ending with a moment of Don Draper.
What you call love is invented by men, like me, to sell nylons.