Ladies, we wait and wait for that phone call, don’t we? Of course, we don’t want men to know that, but men, we are.
The Setting: We either just got home from a spectacular first date, or we have just been dumped by our boyfriend of two years. We are waiting for the voice on the other end of the call to either tell us– “Wow! You’re amazing. I would love to see you again.” Or “I miss you. I was an idiot to ever think I could do better than you.”
But what our irrational-love-infused mind cannot comprehend is that a watched pot never boils (and trust me, I make a lot of pasta!) And it’s the reasoning behind why we do wait. It’s why when we type into Google, “When will he…” call is the third guess Google has for us (propose is first, followed by ask me out). It’s why we go to the bookstore to find the self-help books. It’s why we watch all six seasons of Sex and the City after a breakup. But the answer isn’t in the aforementioned places. It’s right here, on my blog.
So, when will he call you?
Never.
Ouch! Harsh? Perhaps. Truthful? For sure. If it has been over a month and no word from that person, start looking elsewhere. But don’t drown in your sea of sorrow, reader. You’re awesome! Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t see that.
When you’re with a new love and/or have moved on to bigger and better.
Exes always seem to come back at the wrong time (for them). It’s usually the right time for you. You know, when you’ve moved across the country, got more attractive, and have dated at least three men since him. Humor him though! It’s a wonderful ego stroke.
When your phone dies or is turned off.
Going off the grid on purpose is a freeing experience. I visited Vancouver, British Columbia about a month ago, and turned my phone off (namely because I was roaming…) And for those two days, I didn’t care about the possibility of someone not being able to reach me. But have you ever had your phone die unexpectedly when you’re not within distance to a charger? Oh, god! What a terrible feeling. When I got back into the States after my short adventure, someone called me and left a voice-mail.
The moral of the story: leave the country for a few days. He’ll call. Sans passport? Turn phone off.
When you change your phone number.
You decide to do a reckless thing after your breakup. You’re in Stage 3 of I have a Broken Heart, now what?: ANGER. You think, “Oh yeah? He doesn’t want me in his life anymore?! FINE! I’m going to go change my number. Now he will never be able to contact me.” And you do go change it. He inevitably will call because that’s how Life works. And remorse starts to set in. But really, why would you want to get back together with someone who pretty much deemed you unlovable?
If anything, you still have facebook to get in contact with one another.
Calm down, it has only been four hours.
You’re too eager. Let him miss you a bit, yeah? Good.
Not on Valentine’s Day.
He won’t even know it is Valentine’s Day. February 14 is just another day in the year. (As it should be…)
He won’t. He’ll text you.
Along with the rest of my generation, I loathe talking on the phone. We prefer text. I break out in sweat at the thought of having to call someone to set up a hair appointment. What do you mean I can’t do this online?!
So when you hear your phone ringing for some odd reason, don’t get your hopes up! It’s just an automated voice trying to sell you an alarm system.
When he wants to.
Yep. If he genuinely is interested in you, reader, he will call you. It’s hard to wrap one’s head around that but he will. Why? Because you’re awesome and he knows it.
Or you could discard all of these answers and call text him yourself.
*Jamie snapped this shot in Portland, OR.
Brings back painful memories. Thanks a lot, man. :) jk Loved it! And I thought I recognized Portland!
Waiting for a text back is even worse than waiting for a phone call in my opinion. Because you know that it basically requires zero effort to text back.
Ah, you may be right about that!
I’m glad at the end you speak for women to just go for it if they want a phone call. Speaking mostly for myself, but I also think for a lot of guys, we get all the same doubts expressed here ourselves. The temptations, social pressures, etc. for guys to seem non-chalant about relationships is in my opinion either very false stereotype or I’m not a very “real” man.
There have been many times, like after a first date, when I watched my phone like a cat watches a mouse. We know most gender stereotypes are totally wrong, one of them being that guys will and want to take the lead. I’m in by far the most awesome relationship of my life, which probably never would’ve happened if my girlfriend didn’t take the lead. If you are not reserved by nature, don’t be reserved by gender.
I wish I was the aggressive-I-HAVE-to-have-what-and-who-I-want-and-do-whatever-it-takes-to-get-it type of woman, like your girlfriend. Unfortunately, I tend to be the one who over-analyzes, waits by the phone, and drowns in my sorrows when he inevitably doesn’t call. I guess by writing it I’m trying to be a little more inspirational to others (and myself). hah!
Thank you for reading! :)
ok, i’ll start with preamble but my comment is really awesome so please keep reading. i know there is “boobs” in my name but im not one of those sex solicitors, i just really dig my boobs-u can read the “welcome” post on my home page for more indepth analysis re: the name. basically what im trying to say is *dont block me*.
Now that that’s out of the way: Usually, I’ll block ‘his’ number or change mine so I can have unchecked fantasies that he is calling me relentlessly and growing feverish at not being able to reach me. 3weeks later, when I have fantasised myself into a stupor, I drunk dial him.
*maybe not the most ‘awesome’ comment*
I applaud you for digging your boobs! Boobs are a wonderful thing. Now, I am going to go read your Welcome page.
Drunk dialing is the worst! AHHH! Actually, drunk TEXTING is the worst. At least with dialing (assuming you didn’t leave a voice-mail) you can’t read back those totally awesome things you said to him (or her).
ps. This was an awesome comment. Thank you for reading!
thanks-about the ‘awesome comment’ comment. this is an awesome post-actually most of ur posts are awesome! i say ‘most’ cause i just recently stumbled upon your blog through a friend and haven’t read all your posts yet :).
dont really text much any more, i have a crappy phone that takes all of about 5mins just to write “awesome”. besides if i text, i’ll die from anticipation if it takes him more than 2min to reply. #its all about instant gratification…ok that line of reasoning actually seems more awesome when I’m drunk. maybe you should re-read this after a few margaritas.
oh, my boobs analysis isnt on my welcome/about page. its actually a post on my homepage. here: http://wp.me/s26uW9-welcome
Yup, brings back those awful memories, Oh youth.. you made me such a fool.. but youth, you also made me an intelligent adult!
love the post!
ha! Agreed.
Thanks for reading!